what if,
a moronic truant run with no shit on 'its' body-
'green'
wtf?!( gua nmpak toyol punye kelibat smlm lari dekat court k11
' the white curtain dont deceive anymore. they potrayed.
and my life . greatly changing days after days starting from last few weeks.
- aku nak hidup lama lagi - . -
so do i wish for my family, to live in ther best stats.
- i am to weird to live ,but im too rare to die.
2011-01-24
tidur sebelah lembaga.
semalam, gua tidur .
mcm orng-orng lain, tidur itu satu keperluan.
training palapes, dan jadi 'tabligh' kejap, nawaitu nak betul kan umat melayu ni, masih tersekam dalam jiwa gua.
jam 12 mlm. gua pun cuba nak tutup mata. gua fikir esok nak bngon awal. nak buat preparation utk class esok. nanti kalau kne leter ngn lecture2, bleh ah gua sudu blek.
dalam ops peniduran gua, gua rase pelek. gua rase mcm ada perasaan jejakan kaki atas katil gua. dia macam saiz kucing aku rase, tapi berat 'natey' yg naik atas katil gua nih, berat la sial. rasa tenggelam jugak ah katil tuh.
bulu roma gua dah start naik, rumate dah tidor. bilik gelap. malam sangat sepi. kipas terus berpusing ligat. suis nombor 5. gua set, so ga ingat lah.
tiba-tiba, enset gua dpt message alert- the messenger by linkin park .gua bukak mate, gua capai hp gua atas meja blakang kepale gua. gua cek message, pada danial aka botak. gua tgk, lantas gua ltak blek sblah bantal gua. gua pon lelap balek. " gua terlupa cek 'apa' ada kat kanan gua...
bila badan gua pusing kanan, yg sepatutnya dinding berubah menjadi satu kelibat hitam, seakan-akan bersila, seakan-akan merenung gua. mata 'dia' gua x nampak ah, sebab as soon as gua perasan 'menatang' tuh, badan gua freeze .sumpah meremang gua cakap sama lu. so, badan gua menten mengereng separuh kanan tak leh gerak mengadap lembaga hitam tu.' fuck ! " rintis hati gua. bodoh jugak gua mlm smlm, baik berdoa pada mencarut
kan? mintak perlindungan.
gua sangant menyirap lah waktu tu, nak tgk mnatang tu betol2 tak leh. bulu roma meremang. badan freeze. gua try angkat tgn, badan rase berat gile . sebatang jari pun tak mampu. kua kilas kilas kaki, pun tak gerak. gua try angkat tgn, rase mcm bergerak, tapi yg pelek, gua tak rasa tgn gua terangkat, tp ada tgn lain yg terangkat. yang pasti tu bukan tgn gua. gua gelabah. rupanya, takde tgn mana-mana yg terangkat, tu cuma perasaan seakan-akan gua angkat tgn, tp tgn gua sbnarnye masih terkulai. gua dah berpeluh. selimut tertarik, perlahan-perlahan. "
gua bengkek, rasa tak puas hati, dan rasa sngt sedih sebab gua sngt lemah" dlm perasaan tu, gua jeling balek kanan gua, mnatang itam tu ade lagik. saiz mcm baby boy. gua dgr sore mcm mendengus je.sgt garau. tak serupe bayi lah. apekehal, gua pon tak tahu. gua tak rase ade buat slh pun .
lantak ah ( smbil type ni gua rase ade klibat lalu sblah tingkap-lantak!)-azan mgrib bru bkumndang-
then, henpon rumate gua bunyik, die angkat, gua pun bleh bergerak , peluh2 masih meleleh. tapi mnatang hitam tu dah takde. gua pegi suis lampu, bukak satu lmpu ujung. gua kibas2 katil, gua pasang quran slow voice, gua bce ayt kursi, gua bce doa tidur. then tidur dgn nyenyak.
gua bgon pkol 7.30. xgampangy kejut gua. nasib baik. gua rase sngt lemah pagi time bngun tu. kudrat seakan-akan disedut. fikir lebih2 karang , mengarut pulak jadinknye. so lps mandi2, gua qada' subuh. then gerak gi klas dgn hamam.
mcm orng-orng lain, tidur itu satu keperluan.
training palapes, dan jadi 'tabligh' kejap, nawaitu nak betul kan umat melayu ni, masih tersekam dalam jiwa gua.
jam 12 mlm. gua pun cuba nak tutup mata. gua fikir esok nak bngon awal. nak buat preparation utk class esok. nanti kalau kne leter ngn lecture2, bleh ah gua sudu blek.
dalam ops peniduran gua, gua rase pelek. gua rase mcm ada perasaan jejakan kaki atas katil gua. dia macam saiz kucing aku rase, tapi berat 'natey' yg naik atas katil gua nih, berat la sial. rasa tenggelam jugak ah katil tuh.
bulu roma gua dah start naik, rumate dah tidor. bilik gelap. malam sangat sepi. kipas terus berpusing ligat. suis nombor 5. gua set, so ga ingat lah.
tiba-tiba, enset gua dpt message alert- the messenger by linkin park .gua bukak mate, gua capai hp gua atas meja blakang kepale gua. gua cek message, pada danial aka botak. gua tgk, lantas gua ltak blek sblah bantal gua. gua pon lelap balek. " gua terlupa cek 'apa' ada kat kanan gua...
bila badan gua pusing kanan, yg sepatutnya dinding berubah menjadi satu kelibat hitam, seakan-akan bersila, seakan-akan merenung gua. mata 'dia' gua x nampak ah, sebab as soon as gua perasan 'menatang' tuh, badan gua freeze .sumpah meremang gua cakap sama lu. so, badan gua menten mengereng separuh kanan tak leh gerak mengadap lembaga hitam tu.' fuck ! " rintis hati gua. bodoh jugak gua mlm smlm, baik berdoa pada mencarut
kan? mintak perlindungan.
gua sangant menyirap lah waktu tu, nak tgk mnatang tu betol2 tak leh. bulu roma meremang. badan freeze. gua try angkat tgn, badan rase berat gile . sebatang jari pun tak mampu. kua kilas kilas kaki, pun tak gerak. gua try angkat tgn, rase mcm bergerak, tapi yg pelek, gua tak rasa tgn gua terangkat, tp ada tgn lain yg terangkat. yang pasti tu bukan tgn gua. gua gelabah. rupanya, takde tgn mana-mana yg terangkat, tu cuma perasaan seakan-akan gua angkat tgn, tp tgn gua sbnarnye masih terkulai. gua dah berpeluh. selimut tertarik, perlahan-perlahan. "
gua bengkek, rasa tak puas hati, dan rasa sngt sedih sebab gua sngt lemah" dlm perasaan tu, gua jeling balek kanan gua, mnatang itam tu ade lagik. saiz mcm baby boy. gua dgr sore mcm mendengus je.sgt garau. tak serupe bayi lah. apekehal, gua pon tak tahu. gua tak rase ade buat slh pun .
lantak ah ( smbil type ni gua rase ade klibat lalu sblah tingkap-lantak!)-azan mgrib bru bkumndang-
then, henpon rumate gua bunyik, die angkat, gua pun bleh bergerak , peluh2 masih meleleh. tapi mnatang hitam tu dah takde. gua pegi suis lampu, bukak satu lmpu ujung. gua kibas2 katil, gua pasang quran slow voice, gua bce ayt kursi, gua bce doa tidur. then tidur dgn nyenyak.
gua bgon pkol 7.30. xgampangy kejut gua. nasib baik. gua rase sngt lemah pagi time bngun tu. kudrat seakan-akan disedut. fikir lebih2 karang , mengarut pulak jadinknye. so lps mandi2, gua qada' subuh. then gerak gi klas dgn hamam.
2011-01-19
2011-01-18
in between.
in between life and death,
i choose life to be at it fullest, and death to be in between my last big rofl.
time flows, the pace shown,
i open up a path known by me and myself.no more, no less.
in between vengeance and love,
i secluded myself from hates, and i love all things that revolves with a ping.
i laugh out loud to a point where people dont care of me anymore,
and i ended it up with a grin.
in between heart and soul,
i stoned my heart with the hardest brick, and i bury my soul with pessimistic thought.
things seen, and those feeelings,
its about regret that haunted me over and over again.
in between mind and body,
i think of them, and i think of us,
we must complete each other for the sake of the others.
some may look weak and lame,
still, one can change.
in between unite and fight,
i choose to fight alone,
not for now, but for the future.
not because of selfishness, and not because of egoism,
its about nipped something by the bud.
and that bud is within this small heart of mine.
in between me and you,
i will always choose you,
individualistic is somewhat crack the worlds order,
hence, this time i shall think of you more.
no less.
i choose life to be at it fullest, and death to be in between my last big rofl.
time flows, the pace shown,
i open up a path known by me and myself.no more, no less.
in between vengeance and love,
i secluded myself from hates, and i love all things that revolves with a ping.
i laugh out loud to a point where people dont care of me anymore,
and i ended it up with a grin.
in between heart and soul,
i stoned my heart with the hardest brick, and i bury my soul with pessimistic thought.
things seen, and those feeelings,
its about regret that haunted me over and over again.
in between mind and body,
i think of them, and i think of us,
we must complete each other for the sake of the others.
some may look weak and lame,
still, one can change.
in between unite and fight,
i choose to fight alone,
not for now, but for the future.
not because of selfishness, and not because of egoism,
its about nipped something by the bud.
and that bud is within this small heart of mine.
in between me and you,
i will always choose you,
individualistic is somewhat crack the worlds order,
hence, this time i shall think of you more.
no less.
2011-01-17
harapan personal
tahun 2011 ni amacam best. starting dah naiss.
so hopefully with Allah blessings, messi gua taun ni, care ar.
gua assume tahun ni merupakan tahun baru dlm hidup gua.
1stly sbb :
tahun ni gua mencapai status matang yg diiktiraf kerajaan iatu 21 tahun. maknanya, gua boleh jlnkn taggungjawab gua, pergi buang undi nanti. oyes! budak2 jiwa terabur misti tara caya gua cakap ape ini dey?
next, sebagai seorang dewasa, gua kne tahu ar wht the eff is tanggungjawab means . lagi ntah brape tahun gua mungkin akan kahwin dan ada anak anak yg hebat-hebat, insyaAllah.(sape ntah mampu jadi bini gua memang suspek ah)kah kah kah!!~;D
so misi gua telah gua rangka utk kegunaan gua, dan utk gua analisis darai masa ke masa.
misi-misi 2011:
2) join and participate actively in any programs or events organized by the govt, university, colleges and NGO.
3) leading any organizations or group,next is to ensure all members of the group to participate actively in activities organized resulting to a tremendous successes to all.
4) meet up with a group or individuals from the society which are well known of their contribution to the nation and discuss related matters with them. (open raun tabel la snang cter. ayt gua memang keling gelabah.)
5)4 flat for both sems.
and the namber wan thgs on the list is too change myself according to the element listed BELOW ..
melalui 4 penekanan utama dalam membentuk induvidu yang sejati iatu:
harap-harap berjayalah. amin-amin amin. (:
so hopefully with Allah blessings, messi gua taun ni, care ar.
gua assume tahun ni merupakan tahun baru dlm hidup gua.
1stly sbb :
tahun ni gua mencapai status matang yg diiktiraf kerajaan iatu 21 tahun. maknanya, gua boleh jlnkn taggungjawab gua, pergi buang undi nanti. oyes! budak2 jiwa terabur misti tara caya gua cakap ape ini dey?
next, sebagai seorang dewasa, gua kne tahu ar wht the eff is tanggungjawab means . lagi ntah brape tahun gua mungkin akan kahwin dan ada anak anak yg hebat-hebat, insyaAllah.(sape ntah mampu jadi bini gua memang suspek ah)kah kah kah!!~;D
so misi gua telah gua rangka utk kegunaan gua, dan utk gua analisis darai masa ke masa.
misi-misi 2011:
2) join and participate actively in any programs or events organized by the govt, university, colleges and NGO.
3) leading any organizations or group,next is to ensure all members of the group to participate actively in activities organized resulting to a tremendous successes to all.
4) meet up with a group or individuals from the society which are well known of their contribution to the nation and discuss related matters with them. (open raun tabel la snang cter. ayt gua memang keling gelabah.)
5)4 flat for both sems.
and the namber wan thgs on the list is too change myself according to the element listed BELOW ..
- nawaitu
- fokus
- terbuka hati
- lapang dada
- redha.
melalui 4 penekanan utama dalam membentuk induvidu yang sejati iatu:
- fizikal
- mental
- emosi
- rohani
harap-harap berjayalah. amin-amin amin. (:
2011-01-16
bulu-bulu melayu
bulu hitam, bulu putih
bulu putih, adat perpatih.
bulu mana, semua sama.
bulu hidung smpai bulu hujung,
aku carik satu satu,
biar perit laung-melaung!
"melayu mudah lupa!"
itu kata tun.
aku cuma budakukur,
ukur laut, ukur bumi, ukur dunia,
ukur jiwa.
bukan pencaci bahasa,
bukan juga tukang karya,
aku bagi, aku beri,
atas dasar,
hak saksama sesama orng kita.
pok nik rebutia kata:
" kalau dah makan tunjuk-tunjuk,
bagi saja sama semua.
kalau dah sekotak rezeki terletak,
kasi sama rata pada semua"
( clorets aku bru bli mkn sejibik, lps rotate, bg sume, abes trus sbb kntoi mkn sorng2 dgn pok nik)
aku tak hebat, tatabahasa semua mencarut,
aku tak gentar, bagi parang aku ludah,
aku nilai, cerita bagai!
tanah air aku pijak,
langit kusambut hujan tuhan,
bila cecah, tanah berlumpur,
ibu negeriku,kuala lumpur.
bingit, memang bingit, semboyan hedonisma bertaburan di persada,
rentak mereka aku jejak juga,
aku cuba, terus cuba,
tapi aku tak segagah mahatma,
kawan tarik, aku carik,
aku ingat aku kuat.
aku lupa aku hanya berbicara cinta.
cinta dunia. cinta sementara.
kalau dah pipit tu mengaku pipit,
jangan berangan terbang sebelah helang,
kalau akal tu dah memang cetek,
tak payahlah kau cerita gebang.
tenang-tenang air di tasik,
tenang lagi jiwas sikosong.
kuat amuk sama si adik,
kau cuma tin kosong.
bulu melayu semua sama,
rambut susah payah kau warnakan,
tiru barat mungkin?
tiru jepun mungkin?
aku gelak, aku senyum.
sangat sinis. itu cuma poseur malaya.
lahanat kau!
rempit bagai superman,
lagak seketat batman.
berani sangat, nah senapang!
ikut aku pergi berjuang!
jumpa dekan, jumpa nc,
mintak permisi ke periuk afghanistan!
ALLAHUAKBAR! jgn sekadar laungan.
mari bersama berjuang untuk bangsa,
dulu aku pun alpa,
aku pun bersahaja.
pedulik apa melayu!semua kuat dengki! maki sana, santau sini!
gila sana, mati sini!
namun aku sedar, aku tahu, lantas aku perlu bantu,
bangsa agungku,melayu
TAKKAN MELAYU HILANG DI DUNIA!!
2011-01-13
wau perak, syiling cina.lu berak, gua kena.
apa ada pada kaki kalau bukan cagu hitam,
apa ada pada nama kalau tidak disulam-sulam.
ikan dibalut daun pisang, ayam disalai dalam salji,
kalau rasa parang dah cukup panjang, bak datang!
kita umat nabi muhammad,
kita rakyat berbilang bangsa,
kenapa , mengapa selalu ditanya,
jawapan sinis dipalit najis.
akal cetek, ilmu berkuah,
lantas dicurah dalam jamban.
tahi dan lipas, disanjung-sanjung.
lipan gigit, emak meraung.
apa kata abah, apa kata ibu,
syiling ditolak, air tin 'bedebung'
apa kata ayah, apa kata emak,
yang baik itu salah, yang buruk itu salah bapak?!
hilang -hilang dan terus menghilang.
semangat jitu seorang pahlawan.
kau sekadar mencarut, kawan kau gelak sampai lutut cecah perut,
apakenama hebat, kalau ludah atas martabat?
muncul,muncul tiba-tiba muncul,
panglima gagah, otot bergetah.
langkah bersepah, tak sempat paut,
siku diluku sampai berdarah,
nah!
sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit,
apa yang kau nak kejar?
apa yang kau nak tarik?
usaha, tawakal, roh dan jasad.
bila bersambung atas satu bulatan muafakat,
kalimah syahadah dan nauzubillah,
tenang, bersungguh, insyaAllah, putaran jiwa gemersik sahja.
semula ,direka, dicipta dipinta,
bersatu teguh, bercerai roboh.
barakallah.
apa ada pada nama kalau tidak disulam-sulam.
ikan dibalut daun pisang, ayam disalai dalam salji,
kalau rasa parang dah cukup panjang, bak datang!
kita umat nabi muhammad,
kita rakyat berbilang bangsa,
kenapa , mengapa selalu ditanya,
jawapan sinis dipalit najis.
akal cetek, ilmu berkuah,
lantas dicurah dalam jamban.
tahi dan lipas, disanjung-sanjung.
lipan gigit, emak meraung.
apa kata abah, apa kata ibu,
syiling ditolak, air tin 'bedebung'
apa kata ayah, apa kata emak,
yang baik itu salah, yang buruk itu salah bapak?!
hilang -hilang dan terus menghilang.
semangat jitu seorang pahlawan.
kau sekadar mencarut, kawan kau gelak sampai lutut cecah perut,
apakenama hebat, kalau ludah atas martabat?
muncul,muncul tiba-tiba muncul,
panglima gagah, otot bergetah.
langkah bersepah, tak sempat paut,
siku diluku sampai berdarah,
nah!
sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit,
apa yang kau nak kejar?
apa yang kau nak tarik?
usaha, tawakal, roh dan jasad.
bila bersambung atas satu bulatan muafakat,
kalimah syahadah dan nauzubillah,
tenang, bersungguh, insyaAllah, putaran jiwa gemersik sahja.
semula ,direka, dicipta dipinta,
bersatu teguh, bercerai roboh.
barakallah.
2011-01-09
gedebuk!!!
thats the sound of a lump of meats falling from a hill peak into the chasm of despairs.
gua ade crush.
gua tak paham.
gua mereng.
lantas gua terpegun dan terkejut menyaksikan situasi itu.
bahkan, gua tak sanggup usha dah.
hatta, gua makan roti coklat 4 butir,
gua melalak pakai sound systems dekat aked kolej gua.
gua memang tak tau pe salah gua,
gua kena undergo life gua sebagai loneranger,
bahkan redha dengan tenang dan hati yang terbuka, bahawa
gua selayaknya, kekal sebagai philophobic yg mengidap philophobia.
NAISSSS and ironic. kah!! kah!! kah!! ;D;D
gua ade crush.
gua tak paham.
gua mereng.
lantas gua terpegun dan terkejut menyaksikan situasi itu.
bahkan, gua tak sanggup usha dah.
hatta, gua makan roti coklat 4 butir,
gua melalak pakai sound systems dekat aked kolej gua.
gua memang tak tau pe salah gua,
gua kena undergo life gua sebagai loneranger,
bahkan redha dengan tenang dan hati yang terbuka, bahawa
gua selayaknya, kekal sebagai philophobic yg mengidap philophobia.
NAISSSS and ironic. kah!! kah!! kah!! ;D;D
2011-01-03
have u had enough?
about time i set this record straight,
all you wanna do is drag me down,
all I wanna DO is stamp you out.
SPIT IT OUT!.
dont know why. Im not afraid to cry.
but that none of your business.
whose life is it? get it?see it? feel it? EAT ett?!
spin it around so i can spit in it's face
it's twisting and turning the world upside down.
as it may seems.
dont you know its a game?
you keep raising the stakes,
yet u enjoy every drip of sweats u laugh for.
well done.
u got to live a dangerous life.
these are the days when you have to try.these are the days!
embrace it!!
i dont! (:
all you wanna do is drag me down,
all I wanna DO is stamp you out.
SPIT IT OUT!.
dont know why. Im not afraid to cry.
but that none of your business.
whose life is it? get it?see it? feel it? EAT ett?!
spin it around so i can spit in it's face
it's twisting and turning the world upside down.
as it may seems.
dont you know its a game?
you keep raising the stakes,
yet u enjoy every drip of sweats u laugh for.
well done.
u got to live a dangerous life.
embrace it!!
i dont! (:
dresscode: black.
i need you, and for sure you aint understand a thing yet about me.
all black, yet theres some white there.
not a small dots, but a lump of white color with black stripes under my ankle, filling both of my feet.
i am still weak, but u color my day.
i am nothing , but i know some little things, and dreaming of extraordinary things.
i cant say things under other color codes, cause i satisfy myself,
i devour myself with the dresscode: black.
thats who i am,
and nice to meet you, white. hopefully, u can start color my day with a lump of pink under your feet, eventhough i detest pink.
LOL
i fall for you.
but i aint be a hell of a pushover. for that, i shall bliss myself by watching u smile from afar,
and beside them, silently.
have a good day,
white
all black, yet theres some white there.
not a small dots, but a lump of white color with black stripes under my ankle, filling both of my feet.
i am still weak, but u color my day.
i am nothing , but i know some little things, and dreaming of extraordinary things.
i cant say things under other color codes, cause i satisfy myself,
i devour myself with the dresscode: black.
thats who i am,
and nice to meet you, white. hopefully, u can start color my day with a lump of pink under your feet, eventhough i detest pink.
LOL
i fall for you.
but i aint be a hell of a pushover. for that, i shall bliss myself by watching u smile from afar,
and beside them, silently.
have a good day,
white
2011-01-02
SUBUH!
subuh, kena bangun.
kena ingat,
hari-hari,
pergi surau,
kalau boleh. fokus!fokus!
sabtu yang kadang-kadang tu,
takleh buat apa,
lantas, terus maju. fokus!fokus!
kena ingat,
hari-hari,
pergi surau,
kalau boleh. fokus!fokus!
sabtu yang kadang-kadang tu,
takleh buat apa,
lantas, terus maju. fokus!fokus!
2011-01-01
kamera.
lepasni, gua gamaknye kne bli kamera lah.
sem ni mcm byk je perkara-perkara mengarut bkal diterjemahkan dalam bentuk realiti.
nothing impossible in magika
.imagination+ effort + high self conscience + believe + LOVE + SEBATI = sukses.
;D
sem ni mcm byk je perkara-perkara mengarut bkal diterjemahkan dalam bentuk realiti.
nothing impossible in magika
.imagination+ effort + high self conscience + believe + LOVE + SEBATI = sukses.
;D
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