the golden rules of facebook.com

"The most important document to emerge from a computer since The Golden Rules of Instant Messenger."
-Mark Zuckerberg, Founder and CEO of Facebook

I. Acronyms should not require a degree in cryptography.

I can get on board with the usual "LOL," "ROFL," and all that shit. But when these fuckers start making 10-digit acronyms because they're too damn lazy to type it out, I really begin to lose my freakin' mind. Seriously though, I don't want to feel like I'm trapped in The Da Vinci Code trying to decipher your stupid fucking response. OMGITISMLSH.OC!ILTQITO...F Oh my god I think I shit myself laughing so hard. OH CRAP! I left the quiche in the oven....fuck.

II. Don't "like" a status and then comment on it too.

I don't have a problem with people "liking" a status, or with commenting on a status, or both. But don't "like" a status and then comment with "yea." No shit. The "yea" is implied by your act of "liking," you jackass. And let's try to keep comments on topic; nothing pisses me off more than some jackass commenting, and then adding some trivial shit to the topic. Now I get 15 emails between a bunch of idiots discussing which Nickelback video sucks the most when my original post was about how prunes and Coors Light give me gas.

III. Stop inviting me to your gay-ass fan pages.

I think fan pages are great. You don't want to waste everyone's "News Feed" with shit your group is doing, so make a fan page. But don't invite every person you know to join your damn group if it doesn't pertain to them. Look, I live in Klang; I really don't give a flaming shit about your neighborhood badminton team in kg.fajar,gombak,. Also, why the fuck are you playing badminton? Ping pong too fast paced for ya? Just use some discretion people, and go play with your shuttlecock.

IV. Stop linking your Twitter to your Facebook.

What the fuck! These are two sites for a reason! I've said this time and time again, you're not that damn important that we need an hourly update about what the fuck you're doing. But for the douchebags who are curious, that's why Twitter was created. Most likely by some asshole in his early 30's who publicly wears denim shorts and still lives in his mother's basement. But then, some asshole in his late 40's who branched out and got an apartment plastered with Hayden Panettiere posters decided it would be a novel idea to merge a Twitter account with a Facebook account. What a jackass. If Facebook is reading this, please limit status updates to two per day. This Twitter to Facebook shit has become the door-to-door salesman of social networking. Leave me the fuck alone, and NO, I don't give a shit that you just turned left into Best Buy. Go iFuckyourself.